wandermom

No regrets. Just lessons learned.

Loss June 9, 2013

Filed under: random — youngmomat23 @ 2:18 am

 

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It’s been 5 months and a half since mom passed away. I still find myself in a state of disbelief sometimes. I walk around the house, look at the things she left and then find myself staring straight ahead, in mild shock, realizing that I will never get to see her, talk to her or hear her voice again. There’s no one to text and call “Moms” anymore. No more fetching at the airport, no more shopping in Glorietta, SM Makati and Landmark (her favorite malls), no more Grandma… Tears would sometimes just flow freely, unstoppable…accompanied by this dull ache in my chest. I haven’t gotten over losing her…I never will. 

Her last month was the hardest… Nobody knows how painful it was on my part not to be able to take care of her while she was suffering. People thought that I was just having fun, not caring about a thing while mom was fighting for her life in the hospital. They never acknowledged the fact that I just gave birth 3 days before she was rushed to the hospital. People expected me to be there everyday, a good 2 hour ride (1 if traffic’s not heavy) from our house, my body still far from recovery. As if there was no newborn kid that’s also needing my attention and care. As if I was a superhero. People are unfair like that. 

I wanted to be the one to take care of her. I badly wanted to. But how can I when my wound’s still fresh and bleeding, my insides still trying to return to their pre-pregnancy state (I’m grossing you out, am I not? Lol) Seriously… how dense and unfair can people get?

All right, let’s leave all that bitterness behind. 

I have done mom so many wrongs. I am not proud of it and have regretted it. But I have made peace with myself. I know she had forgiven me as well. How do I know that, you ask? Because we were just laughing about it during our last few conversations. We had time to talk before she left…God gave us that and I will be forever grateful to Him. Those are the moments I treasure the most. I cannot undo what happened, what I’ve done. And most certainly, rubbing it in my face, talking about it over and over, won’t change anything either. So why don’t we all just move on and just let the past be a distant memory? If mom forgave me, why can’t you, you sawsawera and my-lifes-so-perfect you?

Kidding aside…

Thank you mom, for everything. We didn’t have the best relationship, we always disagreed on things, we’ve hurt each other countless times…but I still love you to bits. You are a beautiful person, inside out. You’ve touched so many lives. Thank you for your love and forgiveness. Thank you for taking care of me and for loving me though you had a funny way of showing it. Kidding again. I love you mom. I know that wherever you are, you are now at peace and happy. If I were to say something about your life, I’d say “Job well done”. I love you. I miss you. No goodbyes… just “See you again one day”. (Not too soon okay? Lol)

 

Be Our Guest February 8, 2012

Filed under: random — youngmomat23 @ 3:43 pm

I’ve just recently publised our wedding blog http://www.momentville.com/maclovesgel. Finally. It took me a while to announce the blog due to the stress of having to put into words “our story”. It was hard to relive those hard times so I opted to share as little detail as possible.

The site is for our friends who wouldn’t be able to come to the wedding. Some information about us and the people who would take part of it. It also provides guests guides on how to get to the place and tips on what they could do and places to go should they decide to extend their stay.

It’s still not finished since there are still some details that we need to finalize…my mom being fickle minded and all. It runs in the blood since I take after her. Good luck to my daughter. Harhar.

I’m excited yet antsy. I just want the wedding to be simple yet memorable. How do I do that? God help me. LOL.

DON’T FORGET TO SIGN OUR GUESTBOOK AND POST IN SOME COMMENTS WHEN YOU VISIT THE SITE. =)

 

wedding blog December 20, 2011

Filed under: random — youngmomat23 @ 7:25 pm
Tags: ,

I just started creating my wedding blog. I haven’t decided yet which of the sites I signed up for will be the one that I’d use. My goodness… this is just a blog, I haven’t even started with the wedding details yet and I already find myself being so choosy. Goodluck to me @_@… I’ll update again soon. Hope the reservation would push through on the 23rd so that I can breathe that sigh of relief… since it’s one step to fulfilling my dream beach wedding. yeepeee!

 

wedding blog December 17, 2011

Filed under: random — youngmomat23 @ 9:47 am

I just started creating my wedding blog. I haven’t decided yet which of the sites I signed up for will be the one that I’d use. My goodness… this is just a blog, I haven’t even started with the wedding details yet and I already find myself being so choosy. Goodluck to me @_@… I’ll update again soon. Hope the reservation would push through on the 23rd so that I can breathe that sigh of relief… since it’s one step to fulfilling my dream beach wedding. yeepeee!

 

of weddings and ramblings December 14, 2011

Filed under: random — youngmomat23 @ 3:18 pm
Tags: ,

When I signed up for this site…I got excited… maybe too excited and had set my hopes high that I would be able to blog if not everyday, at least once a week. Boy was I wrong. With all the stress of being a parent, a wife and an adult…even writing can seem tedious. I really have nothing sensible to share right now except maybe that I missed writing. How ironic because my work involves a lot of writing. Coaching comments that we need to put into words since we don’t really face our subjects unless utterly needed. But what I really miss… is writing to my heart’s content….like what I did back in high school and college. ***long sighhhhh***

Ok enough blabbering. So what’s up with me? Oh nothing much except that I’m still planning for the church wedding which is only less than 4 months away. (April 9’s the date!) I think this is really it…. may God give me strength and patience… Just looking at the invitation designs, deciding what colors to add in the motif, souvenir designs, the guests, photographers… I’m already going out of my wits. Thanks to my mom who decided 2 days ago to move the date of the wedding to April instead of July. hashamasha.

Well, I hope I can give you another update soonest. For now, all I can say is…or ask rather… Is Luau theme ok? since we’re doing it this summer? pffft. whatever. ciao for now. ***sleepy much***

 

formspring.me October 30, 2011

Filed under: random — youngmomat23 @ 9:50 am

Ask me questions about anything under the sun http://www.formspring.me/veera05

 

What’s the weather like where you live? October 15, 2011

Filed under: random — youngmomat23 @ 7:21 am

crazy. @_@ one minute it’s raining… next thing you know, the temp’s freakin’ hot again.

Ask me anything